No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
