i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
