best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He has the fingertips of a God
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