at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
