For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
