I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
