he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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