i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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