Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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