If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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