I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
