nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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