Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
