wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The power of my boobs compel you
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
