Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
