Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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