just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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