I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
