Sponge bath it is.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
