There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize