I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
