It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
