marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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