I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
