i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
