i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
