i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
