I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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