He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
