Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You were trust falling into bushes
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
