Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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