i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
