Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
