I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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