The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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