YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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