so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
