So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
