i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
