Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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