Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
