You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
