***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
not ubering you a puppy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
