Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
