Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
