Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No subtext here. People are naked.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
