Got a toothbrush?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
