I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
