How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
