took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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