He had one of those small greek statue penises
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
