Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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