Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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