his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
then he tried to convert me to islam
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
