I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize