you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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