Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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