i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
