I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
