How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
