Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
