I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize