Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
