I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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