sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Come on in and take your pants off
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