Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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